Top Ten Signs You Might Be Stupid
by Dr. Rufus Longfellow M.D.
- You still live in Florida.
- You believe you see more triangles than 18 in that puzzle even though I told you I am right.
- You believe your wife when she goes out at eleven PM to get in line for Walmart for when it opens at 8AM when everyone knows it opens at 7AM and there is no dress code that says she must wear red silk hot pants to stand in line when everyone knows the Walmart color is a PMS 235 C (a blue).
- There is no Walmart in your neighborhood.
- You are still waiting for your $1,200 stimulus check even though your Amazon account shows a recent purchase of $1,175 silk red hot pants and a matching MAGA cap even though you already own a MAGA cap.
- You believe you can still count to 10.
8. You are still working on that triangle puzzle.
10. You keep turning on Fox and Friends three hours after it is finished and leave it on all day because your wife’s snoring distracts you because she gets to bed at around 9AM and sleeps until dinner every day except for Saturdays when she is never home.
9. You just are beginning to see a resemblance between your five-year old son and Antonio the gardener and your son’s name is Antonio Jr. and he’s fluent in Spanish.